[Snarky Soujo]

Its been almost a year for myself here, a long year. I don't talk personally often, or open up.

I have come to know many people in that time, the innocent learning player experience was something that most people can say is a rose tinted experience. Being a consistent player I have come to shake hands with a lot of players, a blind experience to iceberg of SL2. It comes with a veil to everything that came from the past, however it also comes at the cost of having players tell you how it happened.

This community has been hurting for a long time. You can see the wounds of everything speaking before this ban wave, in how the tribalism has damaged it, and how history remains history even if we smile, wave and pretend it is okay. 


At some point, there is a time in which you make a decision. I blame no one for walking away, with or without words, I've considered it myself.

It hurts. It hurts a lot sometimes the assumptions made here and there, "it gets worse before it gets better.", I have to tell myself in order to keep going. I haven't stopped saying that to myself. To confront your harasser, is something that is massively uncomfortable. Having to do it several times, and to negotiate with them, negotiate, was something that I would wish onto nobody else. The player agency in how things were, was often at the behest of this sort of experience.

As a player, I wanted to see how I could introduce things that Korvara held the capacity for. Some thing that were not as prevalent in Mainland, the fact that you could talk to a leader of a nation, and impact the game and the story of the island is something that I was excited for in prospect. I worked my ass off, leaving trails and ensuring things that I have do were within the guidelines of the game, I allowed my character to be vulnerable. I was taken advantage of, through the small groups, through the tribalism through everything. Through meta gaming, harassment, leaks of my personal messages.

When I was rewarded with an opportunity, my personal experience was briefly that of excitement. The wash that came after, was something that drenched my every being making me consider the love and work into the community. I have my own frustrations, but I keep them outside of the community and find ways to vent them out so I can return to the game with a clear mind. Its overbearing sometimes, before to have to advocate for myself and negotiate every little thing, and its overbearing now often times alone.

Something I like to quote often from a comfort content creator, raging over a silly video game.

"I appreciate I; but look at what we are dealing with man! You gotta draw the line somewhere!"
"You gotta look inside yourself and say, what am I willing to put up with today?"


You sometimes have to ask, why you come to bat in this community. I know I've asked myself that.

Nobody is perfect. The weight of decision is difficult, I am far from perfect.

My trust in decisions comes from a place of empathy, in how often the community has dug and trenched through public appeal. As someone whom administrated a few roleplaying forums and servers, I do not blame either choice in transparency. You are damned if you do, damned if you don't. Grab the pitchforks, light the torches. (please don't)

Nothing is going to be perfect, I was vocal myself on the day of the announcement of the policy expansion/changes. I will do as I have always done in the past, batter the waves with body, and try to work until the tides lower and the water calms. The steps of pro activity were going to be bumpy, I had no disillusionment to that, but hopefully by the end of it, the sun sets on still water.