[Balor]

I left SL2 almost a year ago now, wordlessly.

I left because the community had turned sour, gaggles of individuals who did not like one another were now all forced to share the same space, fight over the meaningless clout attributed to roles and regulations. I watched my friend group I had protected, loved, and adored essentially slowly disintegrate as the stress overwhelmed them. They were miserable every time I spoke to them about SL2.

So I left, because problems that had existed for nearly 3 years by that point. Were allowed to run rampant. All of the problems that made me left never went away by the time I returned, they still existed within the pockets of the world they had all just scurried from one corner to the next. Harassment, bad attitudes, hateful remarks, metagaming, gatekeeping. All left to fester.

Many people will come around with the opinion that, these bans are cruel and unwarranted. Or that the context, and evidence is unfounded or too old to be punished. However how long were problems on SL2 allowed to fester? Much hate will be attributed to newer players, in newer congregations, forced to nestle within themselves. Like so many pockets before, having to speak in confidential circles about their experiences. Because justice for the harassed would never be served. Because of reactions from the community like this, which vilify victims.

I speak of this with confidence because I am one. I was harassed. I watched Iggy get harassed by my own harassers, until he quit the game for six months. I wonder what prompted them to feel so volatile that the only answer was to lash out at myself, or Iggy. For not playing ball to whatever expectations they had of us. I was harassed for being friends with persona non gratas because they treated me as an individual well.

I have a huge ban thread here because of the potential backlash I felt I'd face for getting an Eventmin at the time punished for comments and actions that had spanned months by that point, some of which I was only made aware of thanks to the kindness of friends pointing out to me. Actions I had spoken and tried to deliberate and compromise on. Because I felt I NEEDED to defend myself. When I was the victim.

I've had people treat my wife and I differently because somewhere, somehow a rumor was started about us having an "OPEN Marriage." Because my wife had a ship with someone /not/ me. People thinking they could sexually harass her, or pursue both of us in disgusting perversions. It is the reason, that my Wife refuses to log on to SL2 or even engage with it's community. Because no one could respect her or I as people.  And that is not including the pedophilic advances made towards her on her first week in the game, playing a youthful character. That by all rights should've soured her on the game and it's community.  

I will not claim innocence, I've fucked up too. I've been rude. I've been antagonistic. I have been in the private servers. I have been in DM's. I have been good, bad, ugly, wholly me. I am who I am and I refuse to compromise on the person I wish to be. But overall I wish to be better than I was yesterday. I wish to be less angry, less sad, less resigned to shitty situations. Just because that's what we or anyone is used to. Nor did we think we'd see justice for it. For other friends harassed off the game for opening their mouths. 

A few of my friends were caught in these bans. People I talked to regularly, and wished them the best even the day prior to it all happening. It is sad to see them hurt, or to see them go. It's sad to see their friends go as well. However the reasons I left, were not the new players, or the new pockets of people that now occupy the space of the game. It was the culture, history, and the environment of SL2. That made me leave. 

These bans while perhaps not perfect, perhaps flawed, and while I can see the fallacy of how far we reach back. The truth is that if this is the precedent, and we are to expect more expediency in punishment moving forward? More direct punitive action, and warnings? I will gladly watch fires get started in the effort to give people the confidence to come out with a report and feel safe to. If these are the first steps to a healthy community? Then I will take that first few imperfect steps. For the sake that maybe, just maybe. With a more proactive GM Team, and an actual adherence to that much maligned "No Tolerance" policy? 

There will be less people who were hurt, like I or my Wife have been.