[Bylamir]

I'm sure there's a lot of people who feel the same regarding the community. I like the vast majority of the community. Sure there are people I don't like but that's life typically. You can't force everyone to get along. Some people don't mix.

But it's absurd with just how much hostility there is behind closed doors. Inner circles bashing individuals they don't like. But because it's behind closed doors nothing can be done. And that hostility from behind closed doors can seep out. I've seen it quite a few times. Needless hostility in the OOC chats. Especially with the war, there are a few major offenders on that front.

But I'll be the first to admit I'm a coward. I hate speaking up. I've got thick enough skin to when I see something like the above I brush it off. And it feels like it never gets reported. To be quite honest, it feels like people are waiting with knives at the back waiting for the first semblance of someone they don't like messing up so they can bring it to the GMs.

I've had to step away and even make a secondary discord account (Okui for those wondering) just so I could play anonymously and enjoy the community without having to worry about anyone's dislike changing how they feel. And you know what? It was fun. It was amazing. I fucking loved meeting new people I otherwise never would've had the chance to meet. (Shoutout to Lance, Emblem and Katrin as well as many more! They were just the first three I thought about.)

I'm rambling a bit but the OOC can be just so tiring at points. The environment feels downright hostile. Also just a personal thing, I've seen quite a few usages of a certain slur towards disabled people with nothing done about it.

I agree with the main post. The current state of the community even with the bans still gives me that hostile vibe. I'm not going to touch on the bans, because to be frank that's none of my concern. My concern is how the OOC feels to me. I don't feel like I can hang out and post things in there. It feels business casual. Maybe I'm jaded because I saw a lot of hostility a while ago. I'm aware most of the community isn't like that.

But it only takes a few rotten apples to spoil the barrel.

What am I trying to say? I'll be fucked if I know. But honestly I like the community. But I don't like the feeling it gives. I'm not going to claim to have some magical solution that'll make everything better. I'm just going to say how I feel as a fellow member of the community. If you don't feel the same, that's absolutely fine. But I only hope you can understand my perspective in all of this.

Is this message a mess? Absolutely.

Am I going to post it anyway? Fuck yeah. 

I don't plan on leaving the community, but a short break is definitely in order. For now, I'm gonna lurk and respond to anything asked about my message.

Later Skaters