[BlackLynx3]

After leaving, I took everything I knew about living on the streets by myself and for a few years, just did odd jobs for some of the townsfolk and tried to not get into more trouble than I was already potentially in. I reveled in my newfound freedom and anonymity, it was amazing to be free and just do whatever the hell I wanted at first. After a few years, I eventually met Atlas, and a few other people who really helped me start off as an adventurer. I started with a longsword because I liked the reach it had, but eventually was gifted my very own Raijin, again from Atlas.

A while later, as I was learning how to better forge myself in both combat and mind, I joined the Hero Academy, and while the stigma and the fact that the people who went there weren't really there to learn how to be heroes was very true, I can confidently say that in my time there, I learned a lot of valuable things about life, learned a little about what true 'heroes' are and do, and 'graduated' in a sense by helping repel some attacks and the last major siege on the city. Unfortunately, the school fell apart soon after these events and when Warrick died, that was it. Now it's a shell of it's former self. Chiyo's one of the last guards still tied to the place, and I doubt it will rise again.

Before the siege happened though, an attack on the Hero Academy did occur. It was something to do with probing defenses, as at the time some terrorists were using Grief Parasites and such to sow chaos...

Oh right, I suppose I should explain about the parasites too. To start off, Grief Parasites are among the worst things in the world that can get to you. Presumably native to deep Egwyn or remote areas in Alstalsia (their origin isn't entirely clear), When embedded in a host, they quite literally eat into you and take control of you and your body via powering themselves by all the horrible experiences, feelings, negative energy and grief they can find in their hosts. Left untreated, they will eventually devour their host from the inside out, reproduce in the corpse and swarm to the next one by the hundreds of thousands. Mercana and fire are about the only things that can kill them as they are resistant to most forms of magic, and there's usually too damn many of the fuckers to squash or step on.

The sick people who use these are mostly known as the Black Falcons. They have not been as active lately, but it would be foolish to forget about them. Their objective, and that of the Mad King they're reported to serve is to challenge the Emperor. All in all, the casualties were surprisingly light, but it was a close thing. Much of the city was burned, Sanctuary hospital was blown up, I got blown up three times during the fight but was kept up to fight off the army some more, and by the end of it, we had lost much of the city, Itadeki lost a brother to this army, and much paranoia swirled in the aftermath while it was rebuilt. For my part, I did my best to help get people unstuck from the rubble and rebuild the city into something larger, better protected and of course, have thicker walls.

I suppose that's the first time I was called the Black Sun on the field by some of the local townsfolk who did see me fight. It was apt, I wore and still wear black a lot, and I had recently learned I could shoot lightning. Combined with the Onigan style fighting, and my preference for balance, I found the name suited me as any other title. It's not an official thing at all, but just something I find resonates and has meaning to.

After the siege, I found out a few things as the rebuilding happened. One, my brother in prison had seen firsthand the attempt by the enemy to take Arjav, and had a sudden revelation into what he was doing in his life. He began to send me letters, and I started to visit him. It was....difficult, at first. But seeing him shell-shocked and mellowed did have a bit of an effect on me, and helped me see that we both needed healing. He still hates Onigans and won't tell me why, but it's slightly less prevalent. I also found out that everyone in the family estate had died in the fire during the attack, and burned to death. Unknown at the time, my mother had merely misted, but she found out about my role in the attack, having not known where I had gone for the past ten years or so, and when she did, she was livid and plotted to have her revenge on me for sabotaging her machinations.

About three months after the siege, I was minding my own business and setting up the groundwork to start my own company, when I noticed *someone* following me around at night. Before this, Vislan was visited by Hera, and she scared him enough to send me a letter to see him. She had demanded him to tell her of my whereabouts, but of course, he didn't know where I lived, so she had to find out through other channels. Just when my friends and I had figured out who was following and made plans to foil her, I was ambushed in my own damn house, and kidnapped by my mother for her revenge. Fortunately for my friends, I had killed one and managed to leave behind just enough evidence for Anima and Ignatius to follow the trail to where I could have been taken.

I was taken to the summerhouse in Alstalsia, and there were a lot of corpses of the family staff around, and more were chained up in the storeroom nearby. Gore was abundant and I realized why I was here now, of all the places I could have been taken. My mother had prepared a room to give the Gift to me forcibly, as she had decided to curse me before I could have the chance to lead a happy life, marry, have children, et cetera. I did make an escape attempt, and nearly got away had it not been for the goons my mother had hired to make sure the place was sealed. I was then knocked unconscious and bound up.

I don't remember much while I was out. At some point, I was given the vials of blood as per the ritual, but wasn't awake. However, I did feel the effects, and it's a pain like no other. I still have nightmares just remembering the night I finally and truly lost the humanity I had fought so hard to keep.

Imagine that you're burning and drowning at the same time. You can't breathe, taste, see or hear anything but the roar in your ears. Your entire body turns to ash as your mortal coil unravels and burns away, only to be reforged into a perpetually infinitesimally stretched line. Then imagine this process goes on for the next six days, and all the while, there is a dark sense of hunger that never, ever goes away.

That's what it felt like to lose my mortality. When I initially went under, I also felt some sort of presence of...someone. It was old, powerful and I could not see them, but they were laughing. At my futile attempts to struggle or fight, and out of contempt. I like to think that maybe Huggesoa was there laughing that night, but it could simply have been me hearing my mother as she went on to slay the rest of the staff and goons surrounding the house to sate herself during the ritual, barring those in the storeroom for me when I eventually did wake up.

I considered simply dying. It is possible to die in the ritual, and the process is not 100% guaranteed to have a successful outcome. Hera would not have cared either way, as she would either control me entirely (in her twisted logic) when I did eventually wake as what she saw as her true creation. Alternatively, if I died I would no longer be in her way and she could resume her machinations for Gods knows how long, until she finally croaked or got skewered by the Church Knights. I likely would have decided to simply succumb to the darkness and enter the Maze if Aria did not appear on the final day.

I still to this day do not understand how or why she found me, or how she appeared from beyond to speak to me. I was in so much pain that is was so hard to focus on what was or wasn't real. But I did see that she was definitely there, and the exchange went something like this.

"It's not your time yet, Taneal. You cannot die just yet."

I told her that I was extremely tired and that I was in so much pain I could barely fight anymore, much less keep myself alive.

"If you die, your mother will do more than hurt you, she will hurt the world and destroy everything you tried to build," she said. "If you managed to survive however, you will have a chance to send her to Lazurus and make a true difference to the world. Your heart will be heavy and you will suffer unlike most do in their lifetimes. But if you can stay your feet and manage to heal the world around you, you will finally be free in soul and spirit. Never again will anyone suffer your fate, and your power will have a purpose."

I thought on this for what felt like an eternity. It was true, if I could muster the strength in me and stopped Hera somehow, managed to live with myself and restore my own balance, I could prevent anyone else from experiencing my pain and also not let her run rampant in the world. But I also knew the cost of this sacrifice, and I eventually told Aria that i didn't know if I could go on. The pain was still nearly impossible to bear. It still is even now, when I look back. But then she did something I didn't expect. She leaned in, hugged me, and said, "When your time comes, and you have achieved true peace with yourself, we'll watch the sunset and explore the Maze, just like we used to back home. Don't let your mother take your happiness away, or the world risks losing everything and more to her and her ilk. We *will* see each other again."

As far as I was concerned, that was all the strength I needed. Meanwhile, Anima and Iggy had managed to find out where the house was, and when I woke up, they got to witness a side of me that arguably most don't get to witness much. The other me that I've been told is beautiful, frightening, and full of anger when I confront something. Now I faced Hera, and she ended up boasting and attempting to command me for the last time...before I used what strength I had before collapsing to ash her completely. After I did, my friends had found the storeroom, and though the urge was strong, I had, at great cost to myself unbound and freed my staff without feeding on them. Of course, because I didn't, I was close to misting again, so we left to Anima's home after burning the summerhouse down to remedy that.

Ever since then, I have been healing from the trauma of these things in my life. Because of the weight on my soul and the grief that is slowly healing, I am always physically tired, though emotionally not too much has changed...yet it has to an extent. I'm number than I used to be to these things and my apathy has absolutely gotten me into more than my fair share of trouble. I'm still as human as I can be in everything but bodily form, and ironically met more vampires and the few others I have shared my story with who helped me heal from these scars. I loathe being among the walking dead, having to cause pain with my necessary feeding, and when I do, the victim and myself sometimes suffers flashbacks when I draw blood.

On the same token, as time went on and on, I learned to accept that there is nothing I can do about what I am until the day I finally scatter to the wind. However, the one thing I could do and still endeavor to do is leave the world in a better state than when I found it, and I have to use my new powers for good. I don't know if this cursed gift could ever hope to better the mankind that I'm still somewhat a part of like Vella intended it originally to be, but I can't not try either. Not doing so otherwise goes against everything I believe in or stand for, and I desperately just want to be better than all of my previous family have been for the past few centuries. Reclaiming the honor of my house is a very heavy burden, and it does not get easier as time goes on, but as the previous generation fades away from memory, it becomes a bit easier to do good.

Sometimes, I just ask myself what Aria would do. It's a difficult question to answer since she is no longer here.

Since the abduction, I kept myself busy, and tried to avoid dwelling too much on the past. I found Mu'Randa, a spiritual familiar who decided to bind himself to me after we met in a summoning house. He's not a youkai, but rather a spirit made black thanks to his previous master, and we agreed to help each other heal until I leave.

Three of the original staff came back to my place and asked if they could stay with me, offering to help keep me fed in exchange for a roof, food, and the chance to serve under someone who was kinder than their previous master. This wasn't an easy decision for me either, for a couple reasons. One, at the time I was feeding on bandits to keep the hunger away, and two, I was conflicted with keeping them safe versus keeping the city safe from my need to survive. Feeding itself, while necessary for my own survival, is still the one thing I hate the most, and I still could ask them to leave...but the advantages outweighed the cons and I chose to let them stay. I treat them fairly, and they return in kind, and my hunger only needs to be sated twice a month in two week intervals. Certainly much safer than bandits, but I feel no less guilty and weighted. It's a burden I have to live with and if they choose to leave of their own free will, I have no trouble with that, given I can revert to bandits if I absolutely have to. We trust each other more than I would most people, and though it hurts, they help ease my grief.

I still have my sword, and it's name is Ki'minkek, which roughly translates to common as "Serving the Light even on the Path of the Dark". It serves me well, and has never broken. I'm still under-strength compared to a lot of people even in spars, but I am still strong enough to help protect innocent people, from both myself and others.

I started a mercenary company, made some honest business with quite a few people and organizations, and had a hand in getting rid of Ephemeral, a new bunch of terrorists who wanted to hurt the Empire and by extensions, innocent citizens. The Nil'kemorya (Falling Leaf Warriors) then was disbanded after business became stagnant, and I joined the Blades shortly after that and giving everyone severance pay.

Vislan was released on parole for his help in recovering me by giving information and trying to warn me in the first place about Hera's intentions. He mostly wanders now, seeking guidance from Mercala.

These days, I blacksmith, repair mechs, reverse Hexes and speak over a dozen languages among other skills. I unfortunately had a recent falling out with Ardnaid. That's a story for another entry, but the gist of it is that I lost her trust and frightened her on a private matter that I still very much have regrets about. I doubt she will ever come to trust me again, but I still don't want to give up trying to just start over with her again. It just means that I need to either earn her trust again....or simply just let her go if her deep distrust of me and vindictiveness trumps any redemption I could possibly come up with or be asked to do. I have to remind myself too that sometimes it's ok to just let people go and that every living person may have an enemy or two.

Not everyone chooses to forgive, after all, and if Ard decides I'm not worth it, that is her decision and one I can hardly blame her for and don't hold any grievance over.

Holding grudges just isn't in my nature, unless the person in question truly deserves it.