[damycles]

Several flyers have been conspicuously placed around various public areas and notice boards of the major cities and towns of Sigrogana. They appear to be a news article from an up and coming news organization known as the Occasional Bugle... which, if anyone was to do research on, would find very little to actually work with aside from a registration for the company somewhere in Doraington. Regardless, the paper looks official enough.

THE OCCASIONAL BUGLE: CRIMSON CRUSADER SAVING THE WORLD ONE PIZZA AT A TIME

G. Greenspan Jones

We live in dangerous times. Or rather, it can be said that we have always lived in dangerous times. The armed and slightly unhinged wander the streets as if they were given a mandate to freely menace the every-day working public. Terrorists come and go like tourists, their explosive activities leaving scars that affect us, especially if you're in the business of doing absolutely anything with gunpowder, to this very day. And recently, the Black Falcons, the quintessential terrorist group of terrorist groups, the same organization that caused our fair Cellsvich to be absolutely decimated only to be rebuilt into this gentrified facsimile of a changing empire, made another attack in the government sanction combat pits. We live in some pretty dark times, whether we want to admit it or not. Or rather, dark times have always been emblematic of who we are as a nation, who we are as a people. However, that does not mean that we cannot have the occasional bit of light to pierce through this veil of negativity.

The Crimson Crusader, many of you know of him as that red-faced web-slinging vigilante type who in recent times has proved himself to, at the very least, be moderately useful in times of crisis. I don't like the man myself. I think vigilantes are a menace to society and if I had my way I'd rip the mask off of the damn web-slinger and show him off to the public who deserves to know. Still, I do know that many of my readers, even if I don't want to admit it, are fond of the red-faced superhero. I can't deny whatever service he has done for our fair nation. As such, in these dark times, I only feel obligated to inform you of a potentially limited time offer that you, my fair readers, can take advantage of right away if you have a bird and some disposable income.

Papa Oct's Pizzeria, a quaint little pizza joint in North Cellsvich that's still working on their grand opening. I've been a correspondent to their location a few times before in the past. Very nice decor, and while I can't judge their menu because they're still working on it, I can say their standard of cooking is good enough that I'd be willing to come back on my off time. Still, I'm a busy man. I don't always have the off time to go all the way to a damn pizzeria in the middle of a workweek when stories are passing me by every second. That's why, despite how much I don't approve of the Crusader, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard that Papa Oct's Pizzeria and the Crimson Crusader were entering into a partnership to enhance their delivery services.

If you want yourself a pizza with a side of celebrity send a bird to Papa Oct's Pizzeria and there's a chance that you might find a red-faced web-slinging menace to society swinging up to your front porch with a hot, fresh, delicious pizza in hand. These are dark times and honestly, while this does seem like a novelty I will admit that it is an entertaining one. So place your orders now and place your orders fast before this partnership is up. I know I will. After all, writing these stories really builds up an appetite.