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The Diary of a Really Antisocial Individual
#1
A wealth of knowledge kept in his brain and this man chooses to talk about some of the most mundane of topics. But oh well - His diary proves an interesting look into the mindset of a man who often keeps to himself. Strangely... He never seems to record the dates.

Disclaimer:
The information in this thread cannot be used for IC purposes. Taking information from here into IC is considered OOC in IC, and is not okay. I've just been seeing these diaries / logs / journal, and thought them fun. The writer is a real character that actually exists.

Diary Entry 1 - The Tournament

I had never considered myself one to be enough of a coward to decide upon hiding my own identity when entering public displays of combat - but it seems that is what I have become after all. It's pathetic of me, but as of yet I cannot be sure of if they have become wise to my actions, yet. One can never be too vigilant when dealing with a threat of that kind...

...or perhaps I'm being too paranoid. Maybe the day will never come where they seek to hunt me down for my actions against them. If only - I'd be a fool to let my guard down believing in such idle fantasies. Especially not now that I have her in my life.

That woman, Ciara - She was the reason I ended up signing up for a tournament in such unfamiliar lands in the first place. They were the lands from which she hailed. I had never imagined myself going to a land unfamiliar to display my magical prowess in hopes of impressing those of her homeland - but I hadn't imagined myself being someone to love either. She clearly seems to think differently - I still remember the melody she played for me, and the confession thereafter. It was a shame she could not have been there to make the event.

I suppose in the end I have something to show her from it, though. A prize recognising exceptional wizardry - not that the people of her homeland even knew much about the magic behind it. Would she be pleased to hear of that triumph? Such a prize to come from an unlikely partnership, too. But then, it seems a lot of unlikely things have been happening lately.

One of those - the interviews done by my comrades. I don't believe the ones who hold the ranks higher than mine had much trust in my ability to deliver interviews with impartiality. I'm sure they simply expected me to deny anyone and everyone. But this lack of faith in me does not surprise me. Secretly, I think they still don't have any trust in me. But it doesn't matter for now. I'll continue to work harder and prove myself. Through the power now bestowed upon me to interview potential applicants, I have proven myself in yet another aspect.

How many more hurdles are there to overcome now?
[Image: 400px-Nihilus%2C_the_Abyssal_Flame.gif]
Ending 145: Disappointed in Humanity
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#2
Diary Entry 2 - Tea and Biscuits

Recently, I felt the need to send some kind of gesture towards the people around me. Perhaps the desire to make any gesture at all was born from some innate selfishness, at first. Not believing myself on good terms with my allies, I felt the need to rectify the problem. Though I do wonder if they all actually recieved my gifts.

Their stresses in mind over missions past, present, and future, I took it upon myself to ensure that there were plenty of supplies for hot beverages. Tea speaks to me more, but I'm sure a lot of my comrades lean more towards coffee instead. I respect that opinion - It's a wrong opinion, but I respect it all the same. So I supplied both. Biscuits were also added to the supply. They enhance the experience - if you remember they're there. Usually don't, but that's my own fault.

Delivered some tea to the hospital in the capital, too. Since they've been working with us I figured I'd branch out my generosity. They've only tea - they're not exactly direct comrades so they will take that tea and enjoy it. Or scrap it, I'm not really going to check in on their tea consumption. Saw Genos, a popular person around these parts, lurking there. Likely a hospital guard. Didn't ask too much - I was in and out to avoid being caught being nice by anyone I actually know.

...Every time I look at that painting of a cat pawing a tennis ball on the wall in my office, I feel more motivated. I'm learning to hate life less and less. Still hate it, though. There's an unsettling feeling in the air...
[Image: 400px-Nihilus%2C_the_Abyssal_Flame.gif]
Ending 145: Disappointed in Humanity
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#3
Diary Entry 3 - Losing Control

I was right to feel some kind of unease. Between uses of my combat ability it seems parts of my body just seem to give up momentarily before returning to function. Sometimes it simply does not feel like I am in control of myself anymore. But I suppose there is nothing I can do for now but wait the issue out and see how long it plagues me so.

Some kind of issue seems to have occured, leading to someone being rendered permanently unwelcome in the HQ. Details were not made clear, but I'm sure I could have asked if I wanted to. Even so, it makes me wonder just how many ongoing topics they're keeping from me up there. This one seemed so minor I'm surprised it took til resolution to be made clear.

I need a distraction from all this. This arranged training should give me the opportunity I need to distract myself from my own problems and offer something to do in the meantime. At least Ciara is doing well at home...
[Image: 400px-Nihilus%2C_the_Abyssal_Flame.gif]
Ending 145: Disappointed in Humanity
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#4
Diary Entry 4 - A little "gift"

Ciara broke the news today. It came as a surprise, at first - I had never really given the possibility much thought, and the people working beside me are likely never going to believe me when I tell them. If nothing bad happens to them, I'm going to be a parent. Though the details aren't clear yet...

...She was persistant on having me spend more time with her in this state - and in the end she convinced me after all. With my concerns about safety, though, I'm unsure this'll be a break to return from. I have two to protect, after all. All the planning I'll need to make ahead of this, and telling them all, too...

...well, at least my other issues haven't been getting any worse.
[Image: 400px-Nihilus%2C_the_Abyssal_Flame.gif]
Ending 145: Disappointed in Humanity
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#5
Diary Entry 5 - Past and Future

I tried so hard to forget the things I had done. Tried by force more often than not, too. But something seems to be keeping me bound to those memories - a desire to make things right and put things straight once and for all. I suppose now that I have a family to plan for I should be taking things easy... but it simply is not in my blood. Not that I'd be free of action anyway. In fact, something feels off so much more than often now...

...I feel the past might soon finally confront me.

But I'm preparing for that. Taking every opportunity the world will allow me to right my wrongs and brace for an inevitable violent confrontation with those of my past. The Falcons - Though by name they have been quiet, I certainly feel their ties to Bloodlust are certainly deeper than just more traitors. No, they're probably in league with them - but then, why hide it? I wonder what is going on in that maddened mind of his...

I've left one group behind, and so my letter has been sent in for another instead. Hoping for the best simply won't be of any use to me now. For the sake of me, my family, and the world - I will carry on. Even if they do not think it sane anymore...
[Image: 400px-Nihilus%2C_the_Abyssal_Flame.gif]
Ending 145: Disappointed in Humanity
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